


Valentine's Day. Or as the Losers call it, Hell

by jujitsuelf



Category: The Losers - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-27
Updated: 2012-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-31 19:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/347676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jujitsuelf/pseuds/jujitsuelf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The team are forced to attend a Valentine's Day ball. It can only go downhill from there.</p><p>More mature content later, warnings are posted on individual chapters</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Valentines Day, or as the Losers call it, Hell.

Disclaimer – All publicly recognizable characters, settings etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended

Prompt fill for Cougar's_Catnip. Losers - Team is forced to go to a Valentine ball. Shenanigans ensue. 

A/N Thanks to Cougar's_Catnip for all the beta work and encouragement, as well as the original prompt. Who knew this monster would be the result?

 

Chapter 1

Clay sat in his small, spartan office and gazed at the latest written order to come fluttering into his in-tray. While it wasn't the worst he'd ever been given, he wasn't too sure how the rest of his team would react to it. Especially Roque. Clay took a deep breath and opened the door, yelling loudly for his captain.

Roque swaggered in, having scattered lesser mortals before him as he made his way toward Clay. A pair of green recruits gazed after him in abject terror, having been informed by a certain Corporal Jensen that he'd seen Captain Roque disembowel a man using only the power of his mind and a teaspoon.

"Morning, captain." Clay said as calmly as possible.

Roque nodded and replied warily, "Morning, sir." Clay was looking calm, that usually meant he was about to give Roque an order he knew the captain wouldn't like.

"How're they doing?" Clay was asking, and Roque came back to reality.

"They're fine, sir. Pooch's hand is healing, Cougar can lose the crutches any day now and Jensen doesn't have brain damage. At least, no more than he had before we went to Chile." Clay gave a quick snort of amusement. Roque continued, "They're getting bored, need something to do to keep 'em out of trouble. I caught Jensen trying to convince Cougar to put super glue on all the the bars of soap in every bathroom on post, just to see what would happen."

Clay groaned, "Oh God, who the hell sent me a juvenile delinquent in a man's body, and made him the best comms man in the Army. You stopped 'em, right?"

Smirking, Roque replied, "Threatened to hold Jensen down and glue his fingers to his dick if he tried anything. Seemed to work."

"Check your bank account" Clay advised sagely, Jensen's revenge usually took the form of small charitable donations from the account of the person who'd annoyed him. So far Pooch had supported an orphanage in Peru, Cougar had helped to fund a well-building project in Africa, and Roque had made a generous donation to a Chicago animal shelter. Clay had yet to find a trace of any money being diverted from his own account, but had a feeling that it was only a matter of time.

Shaking his head and wondering what he'd done in a former life to deserve this amount of karma, Clay waved Roque to a chair. The Captain would hate this order, but there was no way around it. Breathing deeply through his nose again, Clay bit the bullet.

"As you may or may not be aware, captain, it's Valentine's Day next week." Clay started, wondering how far through his speech he'd get before Roque started complaining. "In their infinite wisdom, our lords and masters have decided on a little promotional charity thing, you know, to advertise how the military cares about the local community and wants to give something back, that kind of thing. So, they're arranging a Ball next Saturday night, swanky kind of thing, you know, black tie and all that. All monies raised are going to local good causes."

Clay paused, looking, for want of a better word, shifty. Roque narrowed his eyes.

"What does this have to do with us?" the big man asked, not really sure he wanted to know the answer.

Wincing slightly, Clay replied, "Well, somebody had the genius idea of using the Valentine's Day thing, and setting up a bachelor auction. They figure it'll get the money rolling in faster if there's something worth bidding for on offer."

Roque's face was growing more dangerous by the second, Clay tensed his calf muscles, willing himself to not lean back, away from the coming tirade.

"What does this have to do with us?" Roque asked again, voice low and silky. It was the same voice he often used before doing something unspeakable with a large knife and Clay was for once glad that he was a higher rank and therefore safe from the Captain's fury. Well, technically safe anyway.

Plastering a shit-eating grin on his face, Clay replied, "Well what do you think? Which is the best-looking spec ops team on post?"

Roque's face was incredulous. "Do I actually have to answer that? Seriously, sir? You want to put those three up for auction? Don't we have anything better to do with them? You want to inflict Jensen on some poor lonely woman, just doing her bit for charity?"

Clay didn't say anything, just raised his eyebrows and smirked.

Eyes widening in horror, Roque burst out, "No. Absolutely no. No way in hell am I standing up on a stage like a side of prize beef, watching chicks who can't score their own dates get their money out in order to buy one."

"What happened to them being poor, lonely women, just doing their bit for charity?" asked Clay in an amused voice.

"I don't care, I'm not doing it." Roque said flatly.

"Yes, you are." Clay replied pleasantly, "And you can go tell our other three miscreants the good news. I'm sure they'll be thrilled."

"No."

"It's an order, captain. Suck it."

"Sometimes I wish I'd joined the Navy."

"You get sea-sick."

"Only a little bit. Besides, that was a freakin' hurricane, everyone was sea-sick."

"Whatever, go. Tell 'em to start learning how to show a nice girl a good time. Oh, and tell 'em to get some evening dress sorted. Black tie, tuxedo, you know the drill."

Roque walked to the door, shaking his head and muttering under his breath. His hand on the handle, he turned and said, "What about you?"

Innocent expression firmly in place, Clay said, "What about me..what?"

Roque grinned, "Come on, sir. You know as well as I do, you wouldn't pass up a room full of lonely women on Valentine's Day. You gonna get your ass up on that stage too? Do your thing for charity?"

Clay flushed slightly as he said, "I'm a very charitable person, captain. And I wouldn't let my team down. Anything I make them do, I'll do."

Still grinning evilly, Roque said, "You got ordered to do it too, didn't you, colonel?"

Clay glared at him through slitted eyes and Roque laughed. "I take it back, I love the Army. Do you need me to get you a tux too, sir?"

"Get out, Roque."

"Yes, sir" Roque threw a quick salute and vanished round the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Disclaimer as per chapter 1

 

As horrified as Roque had been at the idea of taking part in a bachelor auction, it was nothing compared to Pooch's reaction. He actually went a nice shade of green, and muttered something about just sending him to a firing squad now, 'cause Jolene was going to kill him when she found out.

Cougar and Jensen listened in on Pooch's Skype conversation with Jolene later that day, and were surprised to hear her cackle with laughter and tell her husband that she didn't mind in the slightest. As long as he promised not to actually romance anyone, just take the winning bidder out to a nice meal, that kind of thing. Her voice had been low and dangerous as she'd then reminded him that she was more than capable of shooting out his kneecaps next time he came home on leave, if she got even the smallest hint that anything romantic had gone on. Jolene had called to Cougar, who was just visible over Pooch's shoulder, to look after him and not let him do anything stupid.

Jensen shuttled back and forth between giddy excitement and sheer horror. He approved entirely of the charity element, and proclaimed loudly to anyone who would listen that the right team had obviously been picked, because, well, just look at them. At least those in command were not blind, and could appreciate the effort that went into maintaining such physiques. On the other hand, he told Cougar quietly, the idea of standing there, eye candy for a couple of hundred horny women was just plain scary.

"It's like they're throwing us into the arena without any kind of weapon, just waiting for us to be torn apart by the ravening hoards. Seriously, we'll be lucky to make it through the night without losing any clothes. Women are far more sneaky than guys, one girl once managed to steal my socks without me noticing. I mean, how the hell?"

Cougar simply shook his head and smiled at his friend. If truth be told, he too found the idea of being auctioned off to the highest bidder somewhat disquieting, but it was all in a good cause. He wondered exactly what they were expected to do with the women who 'bought' them. Shrugging, he concentrated on the more worrisome issue of somehow acquiring something suitable to wear. His wardrobe consisted of a few civilian outfits and his uniform. Jensen's was the same, albeit, the civilian clothes were outrageously bright and all bore odd slogans such as, 'real friends help you kill zombies', 'I had nothing to do with it, it was my imaginary friend's fault' and one that made Cougar smile, 'you're just jealous because the little voices are talking to me'.

The pair of them found Pooch and demanded to know whether he had anything that would pass muster as evening wear. With a smug smile, Pooch nodded and told them he still had his wedding tuxedo packed away at home, Jolene was sending it to him. It was lucky he'd opted for a classic one, he grinned, he always knew it would come in handy one day.

Roque was no help either, for some reason he too had a decent dinner jacket squirrelled away in his closet. When Jensen had the gall to ask why, he found himself nose to nose with the Captain who simply growled that he should walk away and get his ass off post to find a good clothing store.

Thanking Roque for his input, Jensen had backed away swiftly and managed to avoid breaking into a jog until he was out of the big man's sight.

Luckily, Jensen knew somewhere that could help them. He'd had to find something suitable for his sister's wedding two years ago, and was sorely aggrieved that he could no longer fit into that tux, his shoulders had increased in size again, and his waist was smaller now.

"Damn Army," he grumbled, "their obsession with PT is making me a freak. I mean, look at me!" He'd spread his arms wide and waited for Cougar's response. Staring at him speculatively, Cougar smiled. If he was honest with himself, he thought Jensen looked pretty damn fine, whatever he was wearing. The wiry young man who'd joined the Losers had been replaced by a broad-shouldered, well muscled, capable looking soldier. Cougar briefly dallied with the happy fantasy of stripping Jensen and looking at every inch of him in fine, technicolor detail. Shoving the idea far into the back of his mind however, Cougar just replied gruffly, "You look okay. Come on, lets get this over with."

After spending far longer than they would have liked being measured, felt up and generally groped by the two female owners of the store, Jensen and Cougar left. They had the ladies' assurances that their suits would be delivered to them in time for the ball, and Cougar found their phone numbers on pink notepaper, slipped into his pocket.

Returning to post after a quick stop into a nearby bar, for a drink to congratulate themselves on not running screaming from the store when the women had insisted on measuring their inside legs three times apiece, the pair of them felt slightly less nervous about their coming ordeal. At least they'd now look the part, along with their erstwhile colleagues. How they were going to cope with fending off the attentions of scores of women on the hunt for love was something else entirely.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Disclaimer as per chapter 1

The days seemed to pass more quickly than normal, and the Valentine's Ball was suddenly looming on the horizon. Even Clay was a little more twitchy than usual, and more grumpy because of it. Jensen became even louder, Pooch walked around with a haunted expression on his face, Cougar took to obsessively cleaning his guns and Roque just scared people.

Two suit bags were delivered, along with a box for Cougar that intrigued Pooch. But no matter how many times he questioned the sniper about it's contents, he never got a reply, just an enigmatic grin.

Somehow the hours flew past and before any of them really knew what they were doing, it was time to get suited and booted, and have a last stiff drink, for courage. Cougar went to Jensen's apartment to get dressed, saying that he didn't trust Jake to get his own uniform on properly, much less a tudexo. If the sniper was honest with himself though, he only really wanted a chance to see their comms op in his underwear.

As he pulled on his dress pants, Jensen had the look of a condemned man about to walk out to the gallows. His hand barely shook as he downed the last of the bourbon, but that was only because he was controlling it so hard. Inside he was a quivering mass of terrified jelly. Cougar looked fine, but Jensen could see the controlled panic in his eyes. Apparently even their resident chick magnet was feeling the pressure.

At last, the moment could be delayed no longer. They were as dressed as they could get. Surveying himself in the mirror, Jensen pursed his lips and nodded approvingly. He'd opted for the classic, basic black, James Bond tuxedo. Of course he couldn't wear something without a little personalisation, so he'd chosen a bright blue vest, the same shade as his eyes, although he'd never admit that to anyone. His bow tie was also blue, a darker shade this time, but still a departure from the norm. It was kind of hard to Jensen-fy a tux, but he thought he'd done a decent job.

Jensen turned and caught Cougar staring at him. Grinning a little self-consciously, he said, "Yeah, I know. Monkey in a monkey suit. Do I look okay?"

Cougar didn't say anything but nodded slowly. The Latino didn't trust himself to speak right now. Jake looked like he'd just stepped out of a movie. His blond hair was still gelled and spiky but somehow it went perfectly with the outfit. The ladies had done a good job, the suit fitted Jensen as well as any dinner jacket had ever fitted 007.

"You look good" Cougar managed to croak out, then cleared his throat, "You look really good." Good enough to eat, and he would be more than happy to miss the Ball if it meant he could lock the door and spend the next few hours slowly peeling each layer of clothes off Jake Jensen, and lick the resulting naked skin for the rest of the night.

"Thanks, man" Jensen was saying, in a heartfelt voice. "Come on then, don't keep me in suspense, put your jacket on and lets see what the ladies have to squabble over."

Cougar already had his starched white shirt and dress pants on. His black cowboy boots gleamed and Jensen appreciated the polishing that had gone into them. The contrast of black pants and white shirt only served to highlight the golden hue of Cougar's skin and Jake found his mind wandering, wondering what it would be like to run his tongue along that tanned neck, what would Cougar taste like...gunpowder? Cookies? Who knew, certainly not him, Cougs was the straightest straight guy Jensen had ever known. The mere idea of him ever allowing the hacker to do the things he dreamed about was laughable.

Jake shook his head a little, to clear it of images involving himself wearing Cougar's hat and the sniper wearing nothing but a smile, and came back to the present. Cougs was picking up his bolo tie, he'd refused point blank to wear a regular bow tie. Where he'd gotten this tie from, Jensen had no idea, but he had to admit, Cougar made it look good. The thin black cord hung down over the front of the rustling shirt, and the small tigers eye slide nestled snugly into Cougar's collar.

The sniper turned and raised a questioning eyebrow. Jensen nodded approvingly, allowing himself a quick sweep of his eyes over the lean form before him.

"Not too shabby, I'll admit, you scrub up pretty well." The younger man said, and Cougar grinned. "But you still need a jacket."

Rolling his eyes good naturedly, Cougar picked up his jacket and shrugged it on, flicking his pony tail over the collar so that it hung down, the same inky black as the fabric. When Cougar had asked for a western style tux, Jensen had punched him laughingly on the shoulder and told him he was just a show off. But now, wow, now Jensen was totally buying one of those mothers because it looked hot.

Grabbing the mysterious box, Cougar opened it to reveal...a black Stetson. Jensen grinned delightedly and held out a hand for the hat. Turning it over in his fingers, he smiled again, trust Cougar to have a hat for every occasion. Jake ran a finger lightly along the tiger eye band, then handed it back to the sniper who was waiting, hand outstretched.

Carefully adjusting the hat on his head, Cougar spun on his heel and looked at Jensen. The younger man nodded and said, "You look awesome. There'll be cat-fights breaking out the second they see you." He took a deep breath and sighed, "Better get it over with, huh? If we don't show, Clay'll just come and drag us there by our underwear."

The young hacker's face was screwed up into a grimace and Cougar couldn't help but laugh. Slinging an arm around Jensen's well-dressed shoulders, and resolutely ignoring the happy flip-flop his stomach did at the contact, the sniper said, "Come on, pequeño, be brave. They're only women, how scary can they be, really?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Disclaimer as per chapter 1

The team arrived at City Hall and each man gazed pensively at the imposing structure. Both separately and together, they'd taken on drug lords, crooked South American politicians, people of uncertain livelihood who definitely wanted to kill them, and in Pooch's case, cars and trucks that were way beyond the reasonable level of dangerous to drive. But this? This was freakin' scary, and none of them minded admitting it.

Even Clay hesitated before entering the building, which had been decorated with large red and pink love hearts for the occasion. Roque glared at these decorations and Jensen was sure they'd burst into flames, just from the power of the loathing in the Captain's stare.

Just then, a couple of laughing women made their way past them, into the Hall. They gave the five men appreciative glances as they passed and then dissolved into giggles. Clay's face took on the blank look that he always got when his dick took over and he started thinking with his downstairs brain.

"'Kay, Losers, we're up."

Without another word, the Colonel took the stone steps up to the doorway two at a time, rumbling, "Evenin', ladies" as he caught up with the giggling women.

As one, Pooch, Cougar and Jensen turned to look at Roque, all with eyebrows raised. Rolling his eyes, Roque followed his CO, without waiting to see whether the rest of his team was with him.

Snorting with mirth, Pooch stuck out an arm and said to Jensen, "Come on, Cinders, you shall go to the ball whether you want to or not."

Jensen dropped a quick curtsey and said in a falsetto voice, "Oh, Prince Charming, how can I resist?" He beckoned imperiously to Cougar and continued, "Come on, Puss in Boots."

Cougar just shook his head as he followed Pooch and Jensen, still arm in arm, up the steps. "Urgh, Puss in Boots, wonder how long it took him to come up with that? Still, I guess I should be grateful I'm just a fairytale cat and not one of the Evil Step-Sisters" he muttered under his breath, and settled his hat more firmly on his head before they entered the lion's den that was the Valentine's Ball.

As the three soldiers entered the main ballroom, they each debated whether it would appear cowardly to turn tail and run. The large room was absolutely full of people, mostly women, who were all trying to unobtrusively scan the crowd for attractive men. The few men Jensen saw, he recognised, and groaned. Apparently some of the guys had decided to come along and witness their ritual humiliation. He wondered whether Hari-Kiri was an option.

Pooch was mumbling something about trying to fight their way to the bar, when Roque re-appeared. He tapped Cougar on the shoulder and jerked his head toward the stage in the far corner of the room. The Captain had his 'seriously, do not mess with me' face on, and even Jensen followed him silently.

As they walked through the crowd, they could hear whispers passing through the women, and wondered how long they'd actually keep their pants after they were auctioned off, judging by some of the comments.

"Whoa, look at that."

"God, to be rich, I'd buy 'em all."

"Check out Cowboy, geez, I'd re-mortgage my house for a chance to tap that."

"You kidding, I'd get a divorce."

"That's Sergeant Alvarez, they call him 'Cougar' according to the leaflets they handed out earlier."

"Wonder why they call him that?"

"Hmm, maybe 'cause he's a wildcat in bed..."

"And I thought Colonel Clay was cute."

"Ha! Move over Clay, look at Blondie. Check out those shoulders, God, he could be Captain America with shoulders like that."

"That's Corporal Jensen, God, he's handsome."

"Wonder how good they look without the suits?"

"Hmm, it'd be fun to find out. How much money you got on you?"

"If we pool our cash and win, can we share?"

They met Clay in the stage wings. For a man who had in the past, faced down armed dissidents without so much as a flicker of apprehension, he looked scared. He kept glancing toward the stage door exit sign, as if wondering whether he could make it before his team tackled him and dragged him back to share their ordeal.

Clay saw the expressions on his guys' faces and decided that he didn't stand a snowball in hell's chance of escape. Summoning up all his leadership skills, he said tersely, "Okay, they're about to start. I'm going first, they already drew lots. All we have to do is walk out on stage, smile and wave a bit. They've already handed out leaflets with our details on 'em, and some blurb about how we're all American heroes who know how to show a girl a good time, blah blah blah."

Pooch cast his eyes heavenwards, and said, "Jolene's gonna kill me."

Clapping him on the shoulder, Jensen said in a booming, over-enthusiastic voice that made even himself wince, "Just think of it as taking one for the team, buddy."

At that moment the music died down and a woman's voice announced that the bachelor auction would start momentarily. Clay went pale and frisked himself, as though hoping he'd find some kind of weapon that would make him feel a tiny bit more confident. The crowd yelled and whooped as the woman called for their first bachelor to come out on stage and let the people see what they could be walking away with.

Looking like he'd rather be walking to his own court-martial, Clay headed out and was greeted by a storm of yells and catcalls. The wolf whistles were deafening and Jensen backed away, wondering if he could sweet talk Cougar into not shooting him if he tried to escape.

The auctioneer explained to the crowd who Clay was, what he did etc, carefully leaving out any actual details about his being spec ops. She opened the bidding at $100, which Pooch thought was a bit low. American heroes didn't deserve a higher starting price? The bidding was intense however, and barbed comments were soon flying all over the room. Even the Colonel looked a little taken aback at the reaction he was provoking.

"Ha, as though somebody wearing a dress that cheap could afford somebody like him?"

"Says the woman wearing an outfit straight from Hookers R Us!"

Before long Clay was hovering around the $400 mark, which was a bit more respectable. A tall blonde waved $500 in the air and yelled, "Back off, ladies, he's mine!"

Clay grinned wolfishly, all nerves gone now. The auctioneer bought her hammer down and 'sold' him to the blonde, who was now elbowing her way to the stage. She stared up at him appreciatively and said, "Not a bad price for an ass that sweet."

Jumping down from the stage, Clay took her hand and led her away into the crowd, looking for the bar, and maybe a quiet spot to find out whether this one was as bat-shit crazy as the others he'd dated. He kind of hoped so.

Pooch was up next and was visibly shaking as he made his way out on stage. Doing running repairs on a beaten-up Humvee while under fire and shot in the leg had been preferable to this. He plastered on his best grin and waved to the sea of people, most of whom, he was sure, were undressing him with their eyes.

The bidding was just as fierce as it had been for Clay, with the same level of catcalls, making Pooch blush. One girl yelled, "If you're a mechanic, I got something you can tinker with!" Another wolf whistled and called "I can use a man who's good with his hands!" A woman at the back of the room waved a handful of bills and shouted, "That cute body's mine, girls! Put your money away!" Nobody else seemed inclined to outbid her, possibly due to the dangerous glint in her eye. The hammer came down and Pooch's fate was sealed.

He smiled wanly and waited for the girl to fight her way to him. As she approached he frowned, surely he recognised her. He realised who she was and his smile turned warm and genuine. Jolene grinned up at him and held out a hand. He jumped to the floor and hugged her, making the crowd whoop with glee. "Thank you" he whispered in her hair.

Jolene smiled smugly, "Did you really think I was going to let some other girl win you? Not a chance, baby. Now," she put her hands on her hips and raked her eyes over him in blatant lust, "I've bought and paid for you, so you better show me a good time, or I might ask for my money back."

Pooch smirked and said "Yes, ma'am. I'm all yours. Your wish is my command."

His wife's smile turned predatory and she whispered, "Oh yes it is. I bought the black lace underwear with me, it's back in the hotel room." Pooch drew a quick breath and grabbed her hand, heading swiftly for the exit.

Roque was next to be thrown to the wolves. He thrust through the curtain and strutted out onto the stage. He stared around the room as if he was looking for enemy combatants. His dark gaze, sharp and piercing, settled on one lady and he gave her a long, slow smile like pulled taffy, before he moved his attention on to the next girl. His broad shoulders strained against the fabric of his jacket as he flexed them. He was sucking his stomach in as though his life depended on it, although there was no real need, his shirt was quite tight and showed the crowd that there was no flab on this guy, just solid, hard muscle. Shouts of "Take your shirt off, babe" and "Go on honey, show us your muscles!" echoed around the hall, making the big man grin. The money started rolling in and didn't stop until it reached $550. Roque grinned as he leapt from the stage and left the room with a pretty girl in a blue dress. He saw Clay glaring at him from the bar, his new 'owner' already draped all over him. Ha, at least he'd reached a higher price than his CO.

Left alone backstage, Jensen and Cougar waited, for once, both silent. Jensen was biting at his nails as he always did when he got nervous and was almost down to skin already. Reaching out, Cougar knocked his hand away from his mouth and smiled. "Bad habit" he explained briefly as the younger man stared at him, surprised.

"Yeah," Jensen agreed, breathlessly. Cougar bit his lip as he thought how nice it would be to leave Jensen breathless and gasping after a thorough kiss, his mouth swollen and bruised, tongue peeking out to sweep over those fantastic lips. The urge to touch the young man in from of him almost overwhelmed Cougar, but at the very second his fingers started to twitch, Jensen's name was called and he gave the sniper a desperate look of horror as he cautiously went out on stage.

The whistles and cat calls that had greeted the other guys were as nothing compared to Jensen's reception. Shouts and shrieks echoed around the hall, and the young tech op took a step backward, before grinning and waving a little. One brunette yelled, "Show us your ass, baby!" Another added, "Get your shirt off!"

Smiling a little self-consciously, Jensen did a quick twirl and was rewarded by howls of appreciation. Taking courage from this, and with his own natural flamboyance starting to creep out, he shrugged out of his jacket, flinging it over his shoulder on one finger and twirled again. The tight dress pants left little to the imagination and the whoops and yells became more raucous.

"You can come fix my hard-drive, babe!" A buxom blonde shouted, waving a wad of bills at the auctioneer.

"Come to mama, I'll look after you, sweet-pea!" A redhead in a glaringly pink dress shrieked.

A chant started up and swiftly spread around the room, "Shirt off, shirt off, shirt off!"

Jensen smiled widely and tossed the jacket to Cougar, who was watching from the wings with a startled expression on his face.

The blue vest followed the jacket and the shrieks became screams of joy as Jensen carefully undid the bow tie and popped the top button of his shirt. He held out his hands to quiet the crowd and said loudly, "Each button, for an extra fifty dollars!"

Money was literally thrown at the stage and Jake grinned, "Yeah, I think that's enough to start with." He wiggled his hips and slipped the button through the hole, more screams echoed round the hall as a fifty dollar bill landed at Jensen's feet and he obligingly opened his shirt further. It didn't take long for him to run out of buttons and he glanced up, shrugging apologetically. One girl climbed onto a table and shouted, "Come on then, soldier, show us what you got!"

Jake let his shirt slide to the floor and twirled again, wiggling his ass for extra effect. He looked at Cougar, still clutching Jensen's jacket in the wings. The sniper's hands were twisted into the fabric and it looked as though he was having some kind of internal battle. His eyes were huge and his teeth were digging into his bottom lip. Jake smiled at him questioningly, Cougar just rolled his eyes and motioned to him to continue working the crowd. He did so, flexing his arms and tensing his stomach, provoking ecstatic noises from the women, most of whom were now ready to tackle the young man to the floor and ravish him witless.

"Now your pants!" screamed a blonde at the back of the room. Jensen laughed and shook his head, as the flustered-looking auctioneer tried to regain some control of the chaos.

"Please, please, ladies. If we could...if we could start the bidding..." the tiny lady ground her teeth in fury as the screams for Jake's pants to be removed continued. Taking a deep breath, she bellowed, "Hey! Shut the hell up! I'm holding an auction here, if you want his pants off, you'll have to damn well pay for it! Now, who has two hundred dollars as a starting price?"

Jensen stared at her in delighted amazement, how could such a drill-sergeant voice come from such a small frame? She looked at him and shrugged, smiling. "I've got five brothers," she explained quietly.

Bids were flying in thick and fast, and Cougar was sure he saw a small scuffle break out in the far right corner of the hall.

Four hundred dollars had been passed and the crowd showed no sign of running out of disposable income. Jensen was looking a little embarrassed about his lack of clothing now and was hopping awkwardly from foot to foot. He looked at Cougar with an 'do you think I'm allowed to put my shirt back on?' expression on his face.

Grinning, Cougar nodded and threw Jake his jacket, which the blond man slipped on after quickly buttoning his shirt back up. The bow tie he draped round his neck, it had taken him nearly an hour to tie it before, with the help of a mirror and Cougar, no way was he doing it again.

If Cougar was honest with himself, he wished Jake hadn't pulled his clothes back on. The sight of all that tanned skin and bunching muscles had been enjoyable to say the least. Once again, the sniper reminded himself that Jensen was a team-mate, nothing more, the Army would not take kindly to soldiers suddenly declaring their desire for each other. Although it was impossible to ignore that ass. Jake had the kind of ass that just begged to be squeezed...among other things. Shaking his head, Cougar listened to the piercing yells that were still coming from beyond the curtain, promising around six hundred dollars now.

The Latino found himself wondering how much cash he could raise, if he were allowed to bid. Having Jacob Jensen to himself for an evening would be well worth the price of admission. The thought of some girl fawning all over him and getting her hands on parts of Jake that Cougar wanted to touch made the sniper grind his teeth in fury.

Suddenly the yelling kicked up another notch as the seven hundred dollar mark was passed. Peeking out to see the carnage, Cougar saw women balancing precariously on tables in sky-high heels, shouting bids at the stage. Only three or four seemed to have enough cash on them now, and their bidding war was getting dirty.

"He doesn't want a painted slut like you!" one girl was shrieking at another, who was waving bills around furiously.

"Ha! Better me than an wrinkled old maid like you!" came the retort.

"Bitch"

"Whore!"

The insults continued as other women placed bids, until the two combatants were pulled apart and firmly escorted out.

Finally it seemed that only two girls were left, the last bid was seven hundred and eighty dollars. Each woman was gazing mournfully into her purse, counting how much cash they had left that could viably be spent tonight. The last bidder looked hopeful as the little auctioneer raised her hammer and said, "Going once...going twice..."

A clear voice rang out from the crowd, "Eight hundred and fifty dollars!"

Everyone stared around to find the newest bidder, as a collective 'ooooooh' of excitement buzzed around the room.

Jake peered into the crowd too, trying to find the girl who had, most likely, just won him. He couldn't find her and frowned.

"Any more bids?" the auctioneer shouted, and was answered by silence. "Then we have a winner! Sold for eight hundred and fifty dollars! Come up here and collect your winnings, ma'am."

The crowd parted to allow a petite blonde through. Cougar stared at her, already hating her. But, wait, there was something familiar about her. The way she cocked her head to one side and appraised Jake. Cougar couldn't think who she reminded him of, and didn't have time to ponder as the lady with the hammer was announcing his name as the last auction of the night.

Jensen gazed at the winning bidder and grinned widely before jumping down to her. Hugging her tightly, ignoring the cat calls from the crowd, he muttered, "What are you doing here? Not that I'm not grateful for you saving me from this bunch of crazed nymphomaniacs, but, why? I mean, we were selling dates, and I doubt very much that you want to spend another evening with me when you have a perfectly good husband at home."

Jessica Gibson, nee Jensen, stared back at her brother with a matching grin. "Didn't buy you for me, you moron." She replied scathingly and cryptically, "Come on, lets get out of the way before the stampede for Cougar starts."

Taking her brother's hand she dragged him to the bar, where Clay still sat, now engaged in a serious game of tonsil-hockey with his date. He didn't even notice as they walked past and sat down.

When the auctioneer called Cougar out on stage, the whole hall erupted. It was a wall of sound and even the normally unflappable sniper looked taken aback as he took his place on the platform. He regained his composure though, and gave the smile that Jensen had seen make panties fall from the heavens. Yells of, "yee-ha, cowboy!" "Come to mama, and bring the hat!" "You can screw me with your boots on!" and "Show me the way home, cowboy!" echoed around the room, along with numerous demands for Cougar to take his shirt off.

The auctioneer didn't even have to ask for an opening bid, as a tall redhead shouted "Three hundred!" The crowd laughed at the sour look on the little woman's face as she hefted her hammer threateningly, but allowed the bid to stand.

"Four hundred" came a yell from a brunette.

"Five!" another girl shouted, waving her purse in the air.

"Back off, girls. Six hundred" the original redhead yelled.

"Screw you, seven hundred" squeaked a tiny blonde, jumping up and down to be seen over the crowd.

Cougar laughed, amused by the reaction he was provoking. The redhead bid another fifty dollars and he tipped his hat to her with a sultry grin. He wondered where Jake had gone, and tried to scan the room, but the excited wave of humanity in front of him kept moving and it was impossible to locate the young comms op.

The shouts for Cougar to remove his clothing were continuing, and one girl near the stage was actually hopping up and down in excitement as she yelled. He smiled gently and called to her, "Do I really need to?" His eyes were warm and promising, and the smile turned slightly wicked as he ran his tongue slowly along his bottom lip. The young woman felt suddenly faint as those dark eyes bored into her own. She shook her head and shouted, "Eight hundred!"

The leggy redhead glared at the new bidder, and Cougar was sure that if looks could kill, the girl in front of him would be a small pile of ash right now. A feral grin was on the tall woman's face as she called out, "Nine hundred, beat that, bitches!"

Cougar gave a small sigh of satisfaction, victory! He'd beaten Jake's figure, without even having to take his hat off. Looking over at the redhead again, he grinned and made a small bow to her. Her face flushed and she fanned herself with her purse.

The room had quietened down a little, as everyone seemed to be burrowing into their purses, counting how much cash they had left. Some women were huddled together, whispering furiously as they pooled their cash and debated how they could share Cougar out fairly.

Deciding to liven things up a bit, Cougar took off his hat and ran a hand over his hair. Every pair of eyes turned to the stage as he shook his head and let his ponytail flick from side to side. Smiling, he pulled the tie out of his hair inch by agonising inch. He heard small gasps as breaths were sucked in, obviously the women liked his little show. Finally the tie was out and his hair hung free. Cougar shook his head again and ran his fingers through the dark locks, rumpling them up, so that they resumed their usual soft curls and lay all over his shoulders like a small black cape.

A black haired girl instantly yelled, "Nine fifty!"

The redhead said, "Oh screw it. No man as gorgeous as you is getting away from me. A thousand dollars to end the bidding, if you please, auctioneer."

Yells and whoops greeted this speech and the red haired woman smiled smugly, waving to the admiring crowd. Some women were still frantically counting out wads of bills but no-one came forward with a higher bid.

The little auctioneer looked as though all her Christmases had come at once as she yelled, "Sold for one thousand dollars, thank you ma'am!"

Cougar took the small hand that wasn't holding the gavel and kissed it, smiling as the tiny woman blushed and batted at his shoulder. "Go on, go give the woman something worth a thousand bucks" she whispered to him.

The sniper jumped lightly down from the stage and walked to meet the redhead. She was quivering with excitement, and was blushing so much that she clashed with her own hair. Cougar made another short bow, glancing up at her from beneath the Stetson's brim.

"Congratulations," he murmured softly, "I hope I'm worth that much money."

Her voice was low and husky as she replied, "Oh God, yes. Honey, you're worth a hundred times what I just paid."

Cougar laughed softly and said, "Well, I'll try to live up to that. I'm Carlos, by the way."

"I thought your name was Cougar." The redhead sounded confused.

Chuckling again and tucking his new owner's hand into the crook of his elbow, Cougar said, "My mama didn't name me Cougar."

"Of course she didn't" agreed the redhead, "I'm Elizabeth, call me Beth."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Beth." said Cougar formally.

"Um, it's a pleasure to...own you, Carlos, if only for a short time." Beth said with a grin, "So, what do we do now? It may be hard to believe from the way I acted, but this is the first time I've ever done this kind of thing."

"I don't know" replied Cougar frankly, "I think we do whatever you want. But if you're stuck for ideas, we could go for dinner."

"Sounds great," said Beth easily, "but do you think we could do one thing here before we leave?"

"Whatever you want" agreed Cougar.

"Could we dance? I don't get to come to many of these fancy shindigs and I'd love to have a proper dance with a handsome guy, while I actually look fairly elegant and he looks a million dollars in a tux most men could not get away with wearing." Beth looked a little apologetic and Cougar smiled encouragingly.

"Sure, sounds good to me, and thank you," he glanced over to the bar, where he could now see Jake sitting with his blonde date. "Could you excuse me, just for a minute? I want to make sure my team-mate knows that I beat his price."

"Fine, no rush." Beth smiled again and watched Cougar's ass as he walked over to the blond soldier. God, how could any man have an ass that wonderful and not be married?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Disclaimer as per chapter 1

Cougar watched Jensen's face as he walked, the young man was talking animatedly, nothing unusual there. His hands were flying everywhere, if ever anyone made him sit on his hands, Jake was a lot less vocal.

The woman with him was chattering back happily and Cougar frowned. Surely he knew her from somewhere. The sniper reached the small table and grinned down at Jake, who stopped talking long enough to shoot a smile back.

"Hey, Cougar, look who saved me." Jensen was saying excitedly, Cougar got distracted by that gorgeous mouth and zoned out for a second. He zoomed back to himself as Jake waved a hand in front of his face and prodded him in the chest with a finger. "Helloooo? Earth to Cougs. Look, just look who turned up to be my knight in shining armour."

Tearing his eyes away from the handsome face before him, Cougar glanced over at the blonde woman with a polite smile. The smile turned into a grin of welcome as he finally recognised her.

"Jess? You came all this way to save this parlanchin (chatterbox) from a date with a stranger?" Cougar jerked his head at Jake as he spoke. Jake stuck out his tongue.

Jess' smile was conspiratorial and smug as she replied, "Kind of. I was also concerned with saving the female population from having to listen to the tech chatter that only my brother can find interesting. And the endless Cougar stories he tells. Honestly, its Cougar-this, Cougar-that, Cougar's awesome and the best sniper in the history of ever...he never stops. "

Jessica felt her brother's eyes turn furious and horrified and bit back a grin. Who did these two think they were kidding anyway? It was painfully obvious that they each had a major crush on the other. The only ones who didn't seem to have realised it yet was them. Even Clay knew and was cool with it. He sat at the other end of the bar, watching with a faint smile on his face as his date tried to suck another hickey onto his neck.

Deciding that she may as well be in for a penny as for a pound, Jess continued, ignoring Jake's kicks under the table. "Look, I know neither of you two will ever screw up enough courage to do this, so I'm gonna do it for you. You can thank me later." She turned to face her brother squarely, "Jake, Cougar likes you." Turning to look at the dark sniper, she said, "Cougar, Jake likes you. There, it's been said and the world didn't stop turning, fancy that."

Jensen spluttered and tried to form a coherent sentence, and failed spectacularly. Cougar stood like he'd been petrified, staring at Jake like he was seeing him for the first time. Slowly, Jensen's eyes moved upwards and met the brown ones currently boring a hole into him. Cougar raised both eyebrows and Jake shrugged, nodding quickly.

"Wow" said Jess, "This is the first time I've ever seen my brother struck dumb. This is a Kodak moment." Pulling a small camera from her purse, she scooted backwards and snapped a quick picture of the two shocked soldiers. Smiling triumphantly she muttered, "That's so going in the family album when I get home."

Jessica gathered up her things and stood, smiling at Cougar as he pulled her chair out for her. "Just so you know Cougs," she said, "I bought him for you. A little thank you present for teaching Hannah Spanish last time you came to visit, she's the best in her class now. So he's all yours, do with him what you will. But maybe you better wait till you get somewhere private before you jump him, eh? You," she pointed sternly at Jake, "behave yourself for your new owner, I'm passing the problem of keeping you quiet over to him. I'm sure he'll be...creative with ways to shut you up."

She stroked her brother's cheek, and patted the surprised sniper on the butt as she squeezed past and excused herself, heading for the exit, and home.

"Right, well, yeah. Um, okay, I got nothing, you talk." Jensen shook his head as if amazed that he'd finally run out of words.

Cougar said nothing but smiled gently. Looking at him with wide-eyed hope, Jake grinned back.

The sniper saw Clay peering curiously at them over his date's shoulder. "This isn't the time or place to talk about this kind of thing." He said quickly, "Besides, I've got a lady out there who just paid a thousand dollars for a date and I have to deliver."

Jensen nodded and stood up, smoothing his shirt and adjusting his jacket. "You're right, but later we talk, okay?" Cougar nodded earnestly, suddenly looking far younger than usual. Jake sneaked a look at Clay who leered and waved at him encouragingly. Despite desperately wanting to just grab the older man and kiss the living daylights out of him, it just wasn't the kind of thing to do in front of your CO and a roomful of people. So Jensen settled for holding Cougar's Stetson while he put his hair back into a ponytail and straightening the bolo tie, letting his hands linger for a moment on the hard chest under the sniper's starched shirt.

Looking amused, Cougar re-tied Jensen's bow tie, making the tech op growl with chagrin at how easily he managed it.

"Si, later we talk. For now, help me with this lady."

"Hang on," Jensen looked confused, "You want my help with a woman? This is new."

"The poor girl just paid a thousand bucks for a date with me." Cougar whispered hurriedly, "I've got to show her a good time but I don't think I can do it alone. My mind will just keep wandering, thinking about you, you pain in the ass," his warm smile took the sting out of the words, "so you're coming with us. She can have two for the price of one, so to speak."

"Okay, if you think she'll go for it." Jensen said doubtfully.

"Are you crazy?" Cougar stared at him, "You look incredible, any woman in her right mind would be bouncing with glee at having you around. Besides," his voice dropped and went straight to Jake's groin, "I want you where I can see you tonight. No way I'm wasting a night where you look like that. And later, after we take her home and kiss her goodnight, I'll take great pleasure in getting you out of that suit, comprendes?"

"Oh hell, yes." Jensen grinned, "Likewise, believe me. Okay, do I look decent?" Cougar nodded appreciatively, "Then lets go take, whats-her-name on a date."

"Her name's Beth, and she wants to dance before leaving." The sniper explained as they walked toward the redhead, who looked relieved to see Cougar.

"Oh, I thought I'd lost you." She said, "Thought you'd run out on me."

"Ha! Cougs would never do that." Jensen laughed, "He's the perfect gentleman. He was just telling me how pleased he is that you were the winning bidder. And, seeing as the lady who won me has already left, he wondered whether you'd mind if I joined you."

The redhead looked Jensen up and down and cocked an eloquent eyebrow. "Mind? Let me see if I understand you correctly. I get to go out with not only a sexy cowboy but with James Bond as well, and you want to know if I mind?" She threw her head back and laughed then tucked her hand into Jensen's elbow and reached out for Cougar's hand. "Gentlemen, there is nothing else in the world that I would rather do than spend the evening in the company of two such men as yourselves."

"The pleasure's all ours" Cougar said sincerely. "Now, I call first dance. Jensen can wait." Winking at the younger man, he swept Beth onto the dance floor that had been created as the crowd dispersed when the bidding had ended.

The band was playing a tango and Beth muttered in Cougar's ear, "Okay, I know I said I wanted to dance, but I don't know how to do a tango. I have a rudimentary grasp of the waltz, that's all."

"That's okay, waltzing is Jensen's thing, he'll wait till the band plays something slow." Cougar murmured back, lips brushing the curling red locks, "For now, just let me lead."

Without waiting for a response, Cougar pulled Beth into a close hold, his hand on the small of her back, there was barely any gap between them and she drew a sharp breath as she felt the solid muscle beneath his suit. He started moving slowly, rocking back, then forward, letting her know where to put her feet. His eyes never left hers, and she began to understand why the tango was known as being one of the most sensual of all ballroom dances.

As they moved, quick, quick, slow-ing around the floor, Cougar whispered in Beth's ear, his short goatee brushing her hair. "The ballroom tango is from South America. I'm a gaucho, been out on the estancia (range) for weeks, hunting, riding. Only company has been a horse. Haven't even seen a woman, so the first thing I do when I find a town is go to a bar and look for a girl."

He pushed her back gently into a dip and she went with it, relaxing into his hold. As she came back up their bodies plastered together again and Cougar's soft commentary continued. "You're a lady of the night." She raised her eyebrows and giggled quietly, "But a very high class one," the sniper quickly added, and she nodded her approval. "You're not sure whether you want to dance with me or not. I've been out in all weathers and I don't smell great. That's why ladies always dance the tango leaning back, with their heads turned away from their men."

Beth smiled and leaned back, turning her face to the right. Cougar made an approving noise and she felt it rumble through his chest. She closed her eyes for a second, God, this was so worth the money. For a brief second, she saw an image of the three of them sweaty, panting and thoroughly loved-out, all sprawled on a obscenely large bed. A hot flush started in her cheeks and spread quickly downwards. Oh Lord, now that was an image worth remembering. If only it could be reality, she sighed, a girl could but dream of such things.

Cougar's voice was barely above a mumble as he said, "I have to convince you that I'm the right man to spend the night with. Seeing as I don't have a lot of money on me, and can't buy you fancy things, I have to show you how very manly I am...on the dance floor."

Beth laughed as he guided her into a quick spin, "Oh I don't think I'd be considering anyone else as soon as you stepped into the room. Smelly gaucho or not, I'd fight my way through the crowd to get to you."

The laugh that answered her was low and just plain sexy. "Gracias. I hope this is living up to your expectations."

"Oh God, yes" said Beth swiftly, as Cougar's hand on her back pulled her hips even closer to his. The sniper spun her round and pressed himself against her, so his face was buried in her hair, his hand now resting on her hipbone. Without even meaning to, Beth tilted her head back and rested it against his shoulder, letting her eyes flutter shut. Cougar continued to guide them around the floor, his movements sometimes slow and languorous, other times sharp and staccato.

The music faded into nothing and the crowd applauded politely. Beth stayed where she was, happy to just revel in having Cougar's lean body so close to hers. His soft chuckle tickled her ear again, and he said, "The music has stopped, cariña. Do you think we should move?"

Smiling, Beth replied, "Preferably not, but if we really have to..." She turned to face Cougar and straightened his jacket. "That was...I can't even think of words to describe it, it was fantastic, thank you."

Cougar bowed slightly, smiled, then took her hand and led her toward Jensen, who was watching them. Beth suddenly noticed that the two men's eyes had met and were not deviating at all. It was as if they were the only people in the room, and the intensity of the look made her catch her breath. Jensen's gaze flickered over Cougar and he gave the tiniest admiring smile. She glanced sideways at the sniper and saw him give a nod in return.

Beth started to wonder whether she'd been too fast in opening her purse. If that look was anything to go by, there was a hell of a lot more between the two soldiers than mere comradeship. However, when they reached the young comms op, the look had vanished, and Jensen was joking with Cougar about his dancing skills, punching him gently in the shoulder, as men tend to do. She smiled to herself, if there was a thing going on between these two, it was their business. As fun as it had been to fantasise about actually coming out of this charity ball with a meaningful relationship, Beth saw the possibility slipping away. She gave a mental shrug and smiled brightly at Jensen as he held out his hand, inviting her back onto the dance floor. She may not get more dates with these guys, so she may as well enjoy this one.

Jensen was as different to Cougar as chalk was to cheese. He twirled her into a formal waltz hold when the music started, and began talking. For a minute, Beth stared at him open mouthed, how could anyone waltz divinely, and still talk about everything under the sun at the same time?

"So how did you like your tango with tall, dark and smoulder-y over there? He always likes to be the best at stuff, I swear if he thought I could dance better than him, which is doubtful, considering the size of my feet, but if that thought did occur to him, I bet he'd get his ass to dance classes faster than I can get through a basic Windows home firewall. Which is pretty fast, by the way, do you have decent security on your computers? If not I can totally help you out and install the best stuff money can buy, 'course I wouldn't be paying for it, but don't tell anyone 'cause I think they'd be a bit annoyed with me."

All through this little speech, Jensen had been twirling them expertly around the floor, making Beth a little dizzy from the spinning.

"Umm, yeah, the tango was awesome," she replied, trying to remember what he'd said next, "Carlos is an amazing dancer, and a perfect gentleman, like you said before." Jensen spun her carefully, then pulled her back into hold, his big hand resting on her waist, subtly sexy but very proper. "You're not too shabby yourself" Beth smiled up at him.

"Thaaank you" the blond man drawled, "So what do you want to do after we leave here? I'm starving, then again, I'm always starving, Clay says he thinks I have worms. Honestly, that man has no appreciation of my metabolic rate, I burn calories faster than I can say the damn word."

Giggling, Beth replied, "Dinner would be nice, I'm hungry too. You know anywhere good nearby?"

A grin slid onto the handsome face and Jensen said, "I always know somewhere good. The guys say I have some kind of built-in radar designed to find the best restaurant in any vicinity. But no!" he shook his head dramatically, "I just have unlimited access to Google, and dining reviews. You like Italian?"

"Who doesn't like Italian?" asked Beth in wonder, as Jensen guided them past an elderly couple doing very slow cheek-to-cheek waltz.

"Pooch," came the reply, "He hates it, won't even touch lasagne. I mean how can anyone get through life without lasagne, it's a basic human need. But, he'd rather spend hours looking for a half-decent Chinese takeout that may or may not give him food poisoning, than face a plate of pasta. Some people are crazy."

"Agreed" laughed Beth, "Don't worry, I love lasagne."

Looking solemn, Jensen said, "Good, I'm glad I'm not dancing with a crazy person. Speaking of, you're good at this."

Beth blushed and said, "Thank you, waltzing is the one dance I actually know how to do, kind of. Carlos walked me through the tango, that was all him."

"Looked pretty damn hot to me." Jensen said frankly, "You looked like you knew what you were doing."

"I was holding on for dear life and letting him drive" Beth replied. A sneaky idea sidled into her head and nudged at her till she gave in. "He is very hot isn't he?" she asked quietly.

Jensen's smiled slipped for a second then returned, brighter than ever, but less real than before, it no longer reached his eyes. "If you say so" he replied lightly, "I wouldn't know, he's not my type."

"Really?" Beth's face was sceptical. "So you haven't noticed how incredible he looks tonight, how every woman, and some of the men here are staring at him and mentally undressing him? I mean, getting your hands on that body would just be the hottest thing in the world."

Jensen looked around quickly, then back down at Beth, who raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, he's hot. There, you happy?" the young man muttered.

Patting his shoulder calmingly, Beth said, "It's okay, I won't tell anyone."

"Tell anyone what?" Jensen asked blandly, his face serious, the smile gone.

"Nothing," she said softly, "But maybe you should be a little more discreet. If I can tell in the few minutes I've been with the two of you, that there's something more than just team-mates going on, other people can too." She peered up into Jensen's eyes, "But he is gorgeous isn't he? I'm insanely jealous of you."

The grin slipped back into place on Jensen's face and he said, "Yeah, he is. As for being discreet, I'll figure something out. This is all kinda new, you know? I mean, I only just found out that he, err, likes me." Try as he might, he couldn't stop the smile turning into a beam as he said the words aloud.

Beth giggled again and squeezed the hard muscle beneath her left hand. "Ooh, new romance. I love it. Actually, when you say new, how new are we talking?"

Jensen scrunched up his face as he replied, "'Bout ten minutes ago."

A gasp caught in Beth's throat and she stopped dancing. "What? Seriously?"

The young soldier nodded and smiled again, this time it was a happy, giddy grin.

"Then what are you doing dancing with me, you idiot?" Beth babbled, "You should be with him, go on, get your ass out of here and go...do things with that man."

Jensen's reply was to pull her closer and tighten his grip on her waist. "No way, you paid for this and it's not fair for you to miss out because of our...thing. Cougar'll say the same, tonight we're yours. Afterwards, well, then maybe he and I can sit down and talk."

"Sit down, huh?" Beth said, with a dirty grin, "Nothing else, just, sit down and talk?"

Jensen gently smacked her on the ass, "You have a dirty mind, madam."

"I'm a woman" Beth replied, "You have no idea just how dirty it can get. Especially when it involves two men as utterly gorgeous as you and Carlos. This will keep me in fantasies for years."

Jake actually felt himself blush. He cleared his throat and grinned, "Thanks, I think. I've never been fantasy fodder before. Let me know how that works out for ya."

"Ooh, I don't think you'll want the gory details," Beth giggled.

"Probably not." Jensen agreed swiftly.

The music lasted only a few more minutes, and when it had faded to nothing, Beth stood on tiptoe and pressed a kiss to Jensen's cheek. "Thank you," she murmured into his ear, "I've never waltzed like that in my life."

Laughing gently, Jensen slipped his hand into hers and led her back toward Cougar. "You mean you've never danced with somebody talking your ear off before. I talk a lot, I know. It's my defence mechanism."

"No it's not, you talk all the time." Cougar snorted as he heard Jake's comment. "You talk in your sleep." The sniper smiled at Beth as he said, "I've lain next to him in the middle of the jungle, with the rest of the guys, and we've all heard him babble on, while he's fast asleep. Once he woke me up yelling something about white rabbits doing a photo shoot, gave me a pizza order, and then started snoring loud enough to wake the dead."

Jensen's ears were pink and Cougar decided he liked that look. He made a mental note to make Jake blush more often, it was damn cute.

Beth took pity on the blond man and reached out to grab Cougar's hand. "So," she said briskly, "Where are we going for dinner? Jensen and I have established that we both like Italian, how about you, Carlos?"

"Sure, I'll eat anything" Cougar replied, allowing himself to glance briefly at Jake with a naughty look in his eyes. The younger man just raised an eyebrow and smirked.

Rolling her eyes, Beth put a hand on each of their shoulders and pushed them toward the door. "Come on you two, a girl could starve, waiting for you to stop flirting long enough to point the way to the restaurant."

Cougar stopped dead and stared at her. Jensen said soothingly, "It's okay, Cougs. She figured it out. I didn't tell her a thing, but she noticed."

"Its hard not to," Beth muttered, still trying to push the immobile Latino. Damn, he was lean but solid, she couldn't move him an inch. "The amount of sparks between you two is enough to light all the homes in a fifty mile radius. Can we go now?"

"Yes" Jensen said firmly, and grabbed Cougar's arm, yanking him forward. "Come on, lets at least go somewhere where people won't be listening to everything we say."

This seemed to work, as Cougar settled his hat more firmly on his head, took Beth's hand and led the way out of the hall.

The Casa Italia was a tiny, hole in the wall type of place that most people didn't even see as they walked past it. The door was black with age, and the windows were tiny, so that nearly all the light came from the flickering candles set on each table.

Jake had stumbled upon it one night when he was hilariously drunk, and somehow the owners hadn't banned him yet. He shouted greetings in Italian and bagged a table in the far corner, away from prying eyes.

Beth leaned back in her chair and listened as Jensen's flawless Italian flirting scored them a free bottle of wine.

"You know, you two can go and talk this through." She began, "I mean, this is a big thing, the whole 'I like you more than just as a friend' issue. You really should be spending the evening with each other."

"We are with each other." Cougar replied calmly, snagging a bread roll.

"I mean just the two of you" Beth ground out.

"Plenty of time for that later," Jensen said lightly, "you want wine, Coug? Or I can push the boat out and use what's left of my pay this month for beers."

Cougar rolled his eyes, "How can you have no pay left already? It's not even the middle of the month yet."

The younger man shrugged and shared out the wine.

Beth tried again, feeling guilty that she was taking up quality time that the two soldiers could be spending with each other. "You don't have to wine and dine me you know. I'm a big girl, I can find my own way home while you two have a proper date."

At the word 'date' a pair of blue eyes flew up to meet a brown pair. Both men looked slightly scared, as though uttering such a word made the situation more real. Too real for comfort.

"It's fine" Jensen said, and his voice came out as a high pitched squeak. He cleared his throat and tried again, this time in a deep, manly tone, "It's fine. You paid for this and we owe you a good night. We're not about to abandon you just because we've had a bit of a revelation about each other."

"Maybe we should talk about something else" Cougar muttered, glancing around as though he expected the walls to sprout ears.

Beth nodded and smiled quickly, "Its not really safe to talk about stuff like this in public is it? Okay, I don't want to jeopardise your careers just for the sake of shameless eavesdropping. Subject closed."

Two sighs of relief were puffed across the table and Beth grinned again. "You two are utterly adorable though. I just thought I'd get that in before the conversation changes."

Jensen laughed and said, "Well, I can see why you'd say I'm adorable. Lets face it, I am. But Cougs? Hmm, I don't think I've ever heard him described as adorable before. Although," he cocked his head to one side and appraised the sniper thoughtfully, "I guess it's not a bad word. Once you get past the scary, can-kill-you-with-a-look part, he's just a big cuddly Latino pussy cat."

Cougar rolled his eyes again and shook his head in exasperation before draining his glass in one quick pull. Beth giggled quietly and changed the subject before Jensen talked himself into too much trouble.

The food was excellent, and the conversation flowed easily, along with the wine. Cougar bought another bottle to replace the free one, and Beth insisted on being allowed to buy one when the second was quickly emptied. By the time she'd finished her dessert, Beth's head was spinning and she knew she was getting giggly and silly. Cougar didn't appear to be affected by the alcohol at all, but Jensen's cheeks were a little flushed and he was talking more loudly and randomly than before.

Gazing at the remains of his chocolate ice cream, the blond man said conspiratorially to Beth, "You know, ice cream is air bubbles, ice crystals and fat droplets, suspended in a solution of sugars, starches and milk proteins which is called The Matrix." He chuckled and pointed to his dish, "I just ate The Matrix. How cool is that?"

Jensen saw Cougar's unimpressed stare and said, "Sorry. I'm babbling again." Hiding his mouth behind his hand, the tech op whispered to Beth, "You think it's cool, right?"

Despite the impassive expression, Cougar was holding back laughter at Jensen's antics. Watching the young man get drunk was always funny, and this stage, right before the booze really kicked in and made him reckless was the best of all. The things that came out of Jake's mouth had to be heard to be believed.

Beth struggled to hold back a loud giggle as she nodded emphatically. "Very cool. Oh dear, I'm so gonna have a hangover in the morning. But it was worth it, to have the two of you all to myself all night. You're awesome, both of you. Thank you for a fantastic night, and for dancing with me. If dancing is a metaphor for sex, I think you're both incredible in the sack." Nodding solemnly, she raised her glass and toasted the two men, who were staring at her in amusement. "Urgh, I really gotta go home now. I'm going to fall asleep soon if I don't. And I need to get this dress off, I can barely breathe in it. You," she waggled her finger back and forth between the soldiers, "have some serious talking to do, so don't waste the night doing, whatever it is slightly tipsy soldiers do."

She stood up and attempted to drag her coat over her shoulders, but missed and watched as it fell to the floor. "Damn."

Laughing, Cougar helped her into the coat. "We'll take you home" he said firmly, cutting off any protest with a stern look at the young woman.

"Thank you, sergeant." Beth smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Disclaimer as per chapter 1

Just a small chapter before I force Jensen and Cougs to confront their feelings! *evil laugh*

Sitting between the two men in the cab, Beth blearily thought how lucky she was, and how unlucky. She'd managed to spend the evening with a pair of the most handsome, charming men she'd ever encountered, that was definitely a plus. But neither of them were interested in her, and the odds of her getting laid that night were slimmer than the odds that her boss would call her into his office and give her a raise and a promotion. She chuckled to herself and listened to Jensen's attempts to direct the cab driver because, naturally, he knew a much faster route to Beth's apartment.

Cougar paid the harassed driver, handing him a generous tip with an apologetic smile. Jensen was still huffing that if the man had listened to him, the fare wouldn't have been half as much. Cougar pulled him away from the car muttering "Stop complaining, you'll get us put on another cab company's black list."

Beth lingered at her door, in typical Hollywood fashion, playing with her keys and gazing coyly at the floor. The two soldiers stood a step below her, both smiling. "Umm," said Beth, wishing she could form a coherent thought.

"Thank you for a very enjoyable evening" Cougar said, his softly accented voice echoing in the quiet street. "I hope you had a good time, and that it was worth the money you paid."

"Oh yeah," Beth sighed "was it ever. It was the best night out I've ever had. Thank you, both of you."

Jensen gave her a goofy grin and said, "Pleasure was all ours. You're cool, you know, for a girl." Cougar elbowed him and shot him a 'shut up before you say something that makes another woman slap you' glance.

Beth laughed and said, "Thank you. Now, I'm going in before I keel over and sleep here. You have stuff to talk about, so go do that. Now, no stopping off at bars on the way, you find somewhere quiet and have a nice, girly, heart to heart conversation." Jensen wrinkled his nose and Beth laughed louder, "Okay, you can do it in a suitably manly, emotionally stunted, hold everything back but the bare facts, kind of way if you prefer. Just do it, alright?"

"Si, okay." Cougar said quietly. He stepped up to her level and placed a warm hand on her cheek. His lips touched hers for a second and Beth felt the world cease to exist. God, this man knew how to kiss. Jake Jensen was one lucky son of a bitch if he got kisses like this on a regular basis. Cougar stepped back and the world started to turn again. Beth clutched the doorknob and breathed deeply. Directing a fierce look at Jensen she said, "This is one hell of man, if you screw him over I will hunt you down and hurt you, understand?"

The grin on Jake's face was blinding and Cougar's stomach gave a small jump. "Yes, ma'am." The young tech op replied, "I'll look after my large, exceedingly dangerous kitty. I'll even remember to feed him and everything. Although I do draw the line at cleaning out the litter box..." He stopped as a fist connected with his bicep, and smiled at Cougar's face which was simultaneously amused and annoyed.

Beth shook her head in exasperation, and said "Go on, get out of here. I'm going to bed to fantasise about you two, so I need my privacy."

"Whoa, and I thought I had no brain to mouth filter," Jensen said in admiration, "you have oversharing down to a fine art. I salute you." He did so, cracking off one of the best salutes Cougar had ever seen him make the effort to give. He made a mental note to tell Clay that Jensen could actually salute, he just chose to do it badly.

Beth grinned and grabbed Jensen's lapels, pulling him forward so she could kiss him. His mouth was warm and soft and infinitely tastier than the chocolate mousse she'd had for dessert. Her brain screamed that life was too unfair for words, here were two of the best kissers she'd ever encountered and they only had eyes for each other. Of all the rotten luck.

"Thank you again," Beth said, "now get lost, both of you. Go be romantic." She turned back to the door and let herself in, smiling at the men as she closed it.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Disclaimer as per chapter 1

Warnings – men having a 'feelings' conversation, and JJ being naughty with a banana.

 

"I guess that's that." Jake said quietly as Beth vanished into her apartment block. "Now what?"

"You heard the lady, and you did promise earlier," snorted Cougar, "now we talk."

"Okay," Jensen said in a resigned voice, "I'll even try to be serious. Although that doesn't normally work out too well, as you know."

Cougar settled for rolling his eyes and pulling Jake along by his arm, so that the younger man fell into step beside him.

"So where are we going?" the blond asked, "Methinks it might not be a great idea to have this kind of conversation on post."

"I know," Cougar frowned, "Are there any decent bars around that we haven't been thrown out of recently?"

Jensen pondered for a moment then said brightly, "Ooh, I know, Paddy's."

Shaking his head, Cougar replied, "No good, Roque got us all banned from there last week. Something to do with the pinball machine and a machete. I didn't ask."

Jensen growled, "Dammit, I liked Paddy's. What about Velvet? Okay, not Velvet." he quickly backtracked as he caught the disgusted look on Cougar's face, Velvet was well known as being a strip club/brothel that only the greenest of recruits entered, STDs were practically guaranteed just from touching the seats.

"The Rat and Parrot?" Jensen asked, "We allowed in there?"

"I think so," replied Cougar thoughtfully, "I'm sure the owner's forgiven Pooch for dancing on the bar by now."

"I thought that was an over-reaction" said Jensen dismissively, "It was the Fourth of July, what did they expect from a bunch of soldiers?"

"I think they took exception to him doing his little striptease before he jumped on the bar in just his boxers." The sniper replied.

"They were patriotic boxers," exclaimed Jensen, "They should have been proud he'd thought to wear them. And happy he didn't try to remove them." He stopped as Cougar placed a hand against his chest and pointed down the road.

"How about we just get coffee?" the Latino said with a smile.

"Gotta love Denny's." Jensen said softly, "Will you buy me more dessert? After all, Beth told you to be romantic. Plus I'm hungry and have no cash."

"Clay's right, you do have worms." Cougar grunted, but led the way to the diner.

When they were settled in a booth, Cougar nursing a black coffee and Jensen delightedly attacking his banana split, the gravity of the situation seemed to hit both of them, and they fell silent.

For once, Cougar broke first, unable to stand the tension any longer. "So what's going on, exactly?" he asked his coffee, unwilling to look Jake in the eye. "Jess said you, err, you know, you...like me. That true?"

Jensen's ears were pink again and he studiously gazed at the remains of his snack. "Yes?" he said uncertainly, squinting up at Cougar.

Fighting the urge to hide behind his hat so that Jake wouldn't see the happy flush that was creeping into his cheeks, Cougar said, "Oh. I didn't realise, sorry."

"Dare I ask whether she was right about you liking me?" Jensen muttered into his coffee cup.

"Jake, you are an idiot sometimes." Cougar sighed affectionately, "Yes, she was right."

"Oh" was all Jensen could manage. His tongue seemed to have stuck to the roof of his mouth, and his brain had stopped working. He coughed and tried again, "That's good, right?"

"Yeah, I think so." Cougar's voice was soft and Jensen relaxed a tiny fraction. "So now what?" the sniper asked, leaning back in his seat.

"I don't know" replied Jake, "I've never done this before, you know, confess my feelings to another guy. Hell, I have a hard time talking to girls about this kind of shit."

Cougar smiled, Jake was well known for being able to say the wrong thing to any woman and get himself slapped in a surprisingly short space of time. "Well," he said musingly, "I like you, you like me," he grinned again as his insides gave an excited hop, "I guess I need to take you out on a date or something."

"That could be fun" Jake said airily, "Let me check my calendar and I'll let you know when I'm free." Cougar kicked him under the table. The sniper's voice was low and Jake felt a tiny shiver run through him as he spoke.

"Throw your damn diary away. I'm the only one you're going out with from now on."

Despite the fact Cougar's voice, and words were doing very pleasant things to his groin area, Jake just had to come up with a snarky reply, "Ooh, possessive kitty. You gonna scent-mark my room?"

"Enough with the kitty cracks, or I'll use your favorite laptop as a scratching post." Cougar growled.

Jake wrinkled his nose at the older man but said nothing, instead opting for fishing a halved banana from his dessert. He quickly swept his eyes over the diner to make sure nobody was watching them, no-one was, it was a quiet night and the wait staff didn't seem interested in them. He carefully licked the cream from the fruit, happily aware of the sniper's hand balling into a fist on the tabletop. He gave a small moan of pleasure and ran the flat of his tongue all the way along the banana, eyes sparkling mischievously.

"Jake..." Cougar warned in a dangerous voice, "stop. Now."

"Hmm, no." Jake grinned evilly, sealing his lips around the end of the fruit and sucking gently, hollowing his cheeks and glancing at Cougar from under lowered lashes.

The sniper's eyes were narrowed, and he was breathing harshly through his nose. "I hate you" he whispered, trying to surreptitiously adjust his pants which were rapidly becoming uncomfortably tight.

"I know," sighed Jake, "I'm a very bad man. Maybe somebody better take me home and teach me a lesson, hmm?"

"Be careful what you wish for" muttered Cougar, to which Jake merely waggled his eyebrows and leered. "Are you sure you want to, you know, already?" Cougar asked, trying to ignore the daydream of Jake putting the banana down and doing similar things to him instead, that was persistently pushing it's way into his head.

"Dude, I've been waiting for this for a hell of a long time, all the while thinking that if I ever tried anything you'd probably kill me and hide my body so well, even Jess wouldn't find me." Jake replied, "If you think I'm gonna wait even longer before jumping your skinny Latino self, now that I know I'm not going to wake up dead, you are most definitely wrong. What?"

Cougar was laughing softly, he shook his head and said, "Nothing. I never thought you'd feel the way I did. Dreamed about it, never thought it'd happen. Always thought if I said anything, you'd just hate me and try to get transferred."

"We're a just a pair of idiots really aren't we?" Jensen said wryly, Cougar nodded. "But," Jake continued brightly, "better late than never, right? So we may as well make up for lost time. Hence me jumping you as soon as we get somewhere private that has a relatively flat surface."

Cougar opened his mouth to say something but couldn't find words equal to the situation, so he just closed it again and grinned. Jake snorted with laughter and said, "Come on, cowboy. Pay for my dessert and take me home. Then I'll do bad things to you for the rest of the night. Deal?"

The sniper thought for a second then said with a straight face, "Seems like a good investment. Okay. But you have to promise to do what you were doing with that stupid banana." he smirked as Jake flushed. "Deal?"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Disclaimer as per chapter 1

Okay, they're heading to JJ's apartment for SFT, nothing too explicit here, but be warned, slash ahead!

 

Jake's leg didn't stop jiggling all the way back to his apartment. Cougar looked out of the cab window and tried to ignore it. The young tech op was as wired as he'd ever been and he just could not keep still. Eventually Cougar grabbed Jensen's knee and held it down, muttering, "For God's sake, stop it. You're going to make me jumpy."

Jensen looked as nervous as he apparently felt, worrying at his lip and drumming his fingers on anything within reach. As soon as the cab reached his apartment he was out of the car almost before it stopped moving. The driver looked at Cougar with raised eyebrows. Cougar gave what he hoped was a reassuring smile and paid him.

Standing outside Jake's door, Cougar heard him running from room to room. The door had been left ajar, so the sniper pushed it open and walked in. Jake stopped mid-run, an armful of magazines and books clutched to his chest. The apartment looked the same as it had a few hours before, so Cougar gazed at Jensen questioningly.

Scrunching up his face, Jake said, "Its a mess. I haven't cleaned up in a while. Didn't want you to think I was incapable of keeping a place clean."

"I was here not long ago, you know" Cougar said soothingly, "It looked okay then, so it's okay now."

Jake shook his head decisively, "No no no. A few hours ago you were my buddy, now you're...well I don't really know, but I should still clean up."

Cougar crossed the bare living room and took the magazines from Jake, strewing them back across the floor, where they'd been earlier. He fixed Jensen with a stare and said, "I am not your mother. I have not come to inspect your apartment and tell you to keep it clean on pain of smacked knuckles. So relax."

Jake suddenly found himself crowded up against the wall by the kitchen doorway. He briefly wondered how a man shorter than him managed to make himself look bigger, but dismissed the thought as Cougar's head tilted closer, his hat touching Jake's forehead. With an impatient noise, Cougar took the Stetson off and dropped it to the floor, a move which Jensen was about to remark upon, when the sniper kissed him.

It wasn't exactly what Jake had been expecting. He'd thought Cougs would be all alpha-male, possessive and dominating. But this wasn't any of those things, sure there was a look in the sniper's eyes that said he'd love to kiss Jake until the tech op swore he'd never kiss anyone else ever again, but the kiss itself was tentative and gentle.

"Not bad for a first attempt," Jensen said casually, though his heart rate had sped up and he could hear the blood pounding in his ears. "Wanna try it again? And this time with feeling?"

Cougar's eyes narrowed as he silently accepted the challenge. His hands slid under Jake's jacket and sought out his belt loops, hooking his fingers into them, Cougar pulled Jake tight against him. Those dark eyes were boring into Jensen's now and the look in them was definitely not tentative. Pin Jake to the wall and make him beg for more kisses, yes, but tentative? No.

One slim hand remained twisted into Jake's belt loop, while the other slowly made it's way upwards, not stopping until it cupped the back of the blond's neck. It squeezed lightly and Jake had to remind himself how to breathe. A small smirk was on Cougar's face and Jake did his best not to arch into the smaller man's touch like some six feet tall cat.

"With feeling, eh?" Cougar murmured, their mouths now brushing, "I'll show you 'with feeling'."

The Latino's lips crushed themselves against Jake's, and this time Cougar wasn't holding back. The hand on Jake's neck squeezed tighter as his tongue slipped over the younger man's bottom lip. Jensen actually felt himself scrunch his toes up inside his shoes, just before he wrapped his arms round Cougar and tried to devour him whole.

For a minute or two there was no sound in the apartment beyond copious amounts of heavy breathing, curious slurping noises and the odd "Mmm".

While Jensen was more than happy to play tonsil hockey with Cougar all night, his feet were starting to ache from the unfamiliar shoes. Breaking the kiss and gasping for breath, he said, "Couch, couch is comfier."

Cougar said nothing, just dragged Jake along by his lapel and deposited him on his own sofa. Working fast, he slipped his jacket off and flung it to the floor. Jake found his own jacket being pulled off and thrown over the sniper's shoulder. He opened his mouth to protest about the treatment of the suit but had no time to speak before Cougar's tongue was investigating his lips again.

Swinging his legs up on the couch, Jake grabbed Cougar and pulled the smaller man down on top of him. Landing with a muffled "oof", Cougar grinned and wiggled his hips against Jake's, which made all sorts of happy thoughts explode in Jensen's brain. Thoughts that included running his hands through the dark tresses currently caught back in a ponytail, listening to all the noises the sniper could make while Jake was kissing and sucking that gorgeous neck and, Jake was blaming his downstairs brain for this one, the feeling of having Cougar pinned beneath him, smiling up at him, pleading with him to do whatever he wanted.

Right now, Cougar's hands were roaming all over Jake's chest while his mouth burned hot kisses onto the blond's lips and neck. Sucking gently on a spot just under Jake's ear got Cougar the most gorgeous moan. He sucked again and felt the younger man's hands grip his back, pulling him closer, at the same time Jake tilted up his chin to give the sniper full access to his sensitive neck.

"Shirt, get shirt off." Cougar mumbled against the pale skin, fingers already seeking out the small white buttons of Jake's dress shirt. Jensen nodded and pulled Cougar's shirt free from his waistband, no time to be subtle, just desperate to get them both topless as soon as possible. After much swearing and laughing the shirts were both thrown to the floor and forgotten about.

Cougar licked his way down Jake's neck, revelling in the moans and groans he was getting. Dragging his fingernails lightly down the tech's side, he flicked his tongue carefully over a nipple and loved the small gasp that came from Jake. Deciding to be experimental, the sniper lightly grazed his teeth over that same nipple and gasped himself as Jake's hips shot up in response.

"Ooh, you wanna play dirty?" Jensen growled, "fasten your seat belt, it's gonna be a bumpy night."

Jake could move like a cat himself when he really wanted to, and Cougar suddenly found himself flipped onto his back, sinking into the cushions as the blond straddled him. His wrists were caught in one big hand and pulled firmly over his head. Despite his wiggles, he was going nowhere and that knowledge alone was making him harder than he'd ever been in his life.

Harsh breathing from Jake alerted Cougar to the fact that he was not the only one suffering from too-tight-pant syndrome. Grinning, the sniper said, "You never moved that fast in PT."

Jake snorted, "Sheer waste of valuable energy. Now hold still."

As the younger man started kissing and licking every square inch of bare skin he could get his mouth on, Cougar had to remind himself that this was actually happening. It wasn't just another of those dreams he'd been having for the past few years, where he'd wake up alone in bed with only an embarrassing hard-on for company. The man he'd lusted after for an insane amount of time was genuinely biting small marks onto his shoulder, at this very second. He tried to pull his wrists free from Jake's restraining hand, anxious to get them back on that fantastic body again. The tech op's hand tightened however, and he smirked as Cougar growled.

"Nope, I get my fun first." Jake said, the smirk growing wider.

"¿Por que?" "why?" muttered Cougar.

Jake laughed and said teasingly, "Because I'm taller, and you're skinny and I can totally keep you here all night if I want to."

"I am not skinny and I can escape anytime I want." muttered Cougar mutinously, and jumped as Jake's fingers poked his ribs.

"See?" Jensen said, "Skinny. I can see all your ribs. I'm just gonna have to feed you up a little, even if it means tying you to a chair and forcing you to eat cookies all day. And no way can you go anywhere, admit it."

Cougar narrowed his eyes, "You have an odd way of showing concern for my welfare, Jake Jensen. Force feeding people isn't usually considered romantic. And by the way, I'm only letting you sit on me because it's fun."

"I'm an odd person, hadn't you noticed?" Jensen replied, before swiping his tongue over a bite mark he'd just made.

Snorting with laughter, Cougar said, "Oh yeah." Before Jensen could think of a reply, Cougar thrust his hips up and twisted to the left, wriggling madly. Jake was caught off balance, and slipped off the sofa, dragging the sniper with him. For a moment they wrestled on the fraying rug, first one getting the advantage, then the other. Jake's superior bulk was useful, but Cougar was fast. It was like trying to fight a fish, he never stopped moving. Jensen let out a triumphant yell as he pinned the sniper, then growled loudly as Cougar hooked his legs around Jake's and flipped them both over.

Deciding that playing dirty was the only option, Jensen crushed Cougar to his chest in a bear hug and kissed him with all the force he could muster. Taken aback, Cougar stopped moving for a second, giving Jake the opening he needed. Rolling the sniper onto his back once more, Jake hauled him to his feet, stooped and quickly flung him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry.

Ignoring the stream of Spanish insults that were being directed his way, Jensen calmly walked toward his bedroom. A sharp elbow connected with his back and he slapped Cougar's unprotected rear. "Ow, that hurts." Jensen grumbled, "Stop it or I'll give you the worst spanking you've had since your mama caught you stealing tamales."

"She never caught me" muttered Cougar, but went still.

Jensen pushed open his bedroom door and said, "Duck or you'll get a headache."

Cougar obediently went limp as they passed through the doorway. Before he had time to register what Jake's bedroom looked like, he was dumped onto the biggest bed he'd ever encountered in his life. For a moment he thought he might actually drown in the extra squashy pillows and blankets, which surged up around him as he sank into them. He fought his way back up to ground level, so to speak and saw Jake grinning at him.

"What?" Cougar demanded.

Jensen shook his head and replied, "Nothing, I just never really thought I'd get the chance to do that, much as I've daydreamed about it during Clay's briefings."

"That explains so much" murmured Cougar, "Pooch was laying odds that you were just trying to look dumb to stop Clay giving you any extra work."

"That man spends his life besmirching my good name" Jensen said sadly.

"Whatever, come here" Cougar said, grabbing at Jensen. When Jake was standing in between Cougar's knees, the sniper's hands resting on his waistband, they both froze, realising what they were about to do. Being shirtless was one thing, pantless was something else.

"You okay?" Jake asked softly, his hands hanging loosely at his sides.

A warm smile slowly spread across Cougar's dark features, "Si, estoy bien" "Yes, I'm fine" he said, in barely more than a whisper. His fingers slipped to Jake's zipper, sliding it down before either of them lost their nerve.

Jensen bit his lip, God this was actually happening. He'd fantasised about this ever since he'd first seen the sniper. When Clay had introduced Jensen to his new team, Cougar had looked him over appraisingly, nodded once and gone back to stripping his rifle, without saying a word. At that moment, Jake fell, and fell hard. He'd trailed Cougar all over the place, like an anxious puppy hoping to please it's new master. But never in his wildest dreams (and boy, had some of them been wild) did he ever dare to hope that the dark sniper would feel the same way.

But somebody up there must love him, Jensen decided, because here he was, half naked with the most gorgeous man he'd ever seen, with his pants now loose around his hips and Cougar's clever hands gripping his waist. Taking a deep breath, the comms op shimmied and felt his pants lose their battle with gravity. He heard Cougar's snort of suppressed laughter. "What?"

"I've seen your underwear before, but seriously? When did the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles become fashionable again? And why are you wearing boxers which have tiny pictures of them printed all over the place?"

"It's called retro, dude. Everyone knows vintage clothes are in. And the Turtles will always be fashionable, because they kick ass."

Cougar said nothing, just raised an unconvinced eyebrow. Jensen glared back for as long as he could manage then said, "Don't look at me in that tone of voice. You know, that, 'I am cool without even trying because I have The Hat and now an extra black Stetson to compliment my stunning good looks, so why would I ever need to embrace retro-chic, I'll leave that up to lesser beings than my awesome self' tone."

The shiny ponytail swung as Cougar shook his head and muttered something about crazy people. Jensen opened his mouth to reply, then gasped as he felt the sniper's teeth grip his boxers and tug.

"Off" was all Cougar murmured. Before his brain had time to catch up, Jake shoved the underwear down and kicked them off his feet, along with his pants. He knew his breathing had sped up and he swallowed convulsively a few times, trying to do something about his suddenly dry throat.

Gentle fingers ran down Jake's hipbones, then reached behind to carefully squeeze his ass. Jake's hands balled up into fists as he tried to control his breathing, which sounded loud even to him. Cougar chuckled softly and pried his fingers open, smoothing his hands flat and placing a kiss in the center of each palm. He looked up at Jensen for a second, then lay slowly back on the bed. His dark eyes flicked down toward his own pants and he gave a small smile. "If you want to, you could...take mine off" he said quietly.

Jensen had never wanted anything so much in his life, and said so as he fumbled with Cougar's button and zipper. Finally getting them undone, he took hold of each pant leg and pulled, stumbling backwards as they slid off far faster than he'd expected. Just about avoiding crashing into the doorframe, he gave the Latino a sheepish smile, which made Cougar laugh again.

The sniper's underwear was more muted than Jensen's. Just basic black today, but very form fitting. The boxers clung to his slim hips like a second skin and left Jake in no doubt as to whether Cougar was getting turned on. His blue eyes widened as he saw just how hard the other man already was, and Cougar flushed slightly. Shrugging, the sniper said, "You're a good kisser" a sly smile crept onto his face, "Want to try it again?"

"Hell, yeah" Jake muttered, "But I gotta do this first..." He reached forward and peeled the tight black boxers from Cougar's body. Raising his hips helpfully, Cougar sucked in a breath as the cooler air hit him. Jake threw the underwear through the open door and nodded in satisfaction. "Won't be needing them for a while." The hacker flung himself on the bed, bouncing like a kid at a slumber party, making Cougar roll his eyes.

Laughing, Jake pulled Cougar on top of him, pressing kisses to his throat. After a second, he stopped and drew back. "Would you mind if I asked you to take your hair down?" he said hesitantly.

Cougar looked surprised but obligingly reached behind his head and pulled the tie out of his hair.

"Oh God" Jake said in a strangled voice, "This is like, one of my favorite fantasies ever. Can I touch it?"

"If you want to." smiled Cougar, a bit bemused by his hair's effect on the younger man. Jake's fingers tangled themselves in the long tresses and fanned them out over his shoulders. The hacker gazed raptly at the black locks, separating the odd strand and curling it round his finger.

The sniper raised his eyebrows in question. Jake flushed and said, "Yes, your hair is a major turn on for me. Its just so...fluffy." Cougar looked horrified at the thought of having fluffy hair and Jensen instantly backtracked, "not fluffy, umm, silky?" Receiving a nod of approval, he continued, "Yeah, silky and soft and just right for me to play with all night."

"All night?" Cougar asked in a heavy voice that made Jake's nether regions sit up and say hello.

"Well, no, maybe not every second of all night" Jensen managed to gasp, making Cougar chuckle. The laugh was cut off abruptly as Jake's hand tightened in his hair. "You laughin' at me, sergeant?" the blond asked in mock dismay.

"Yes I am, corporal" Cougar said frankly, loving the dangerous gleam that now appeared in Jake's eyes. "What're you going to do about it?"

For once Jake didn't say a word, just smiled wickedly. Cougar wondered what sort of monster he'd unleashed, then found himself on his back once again, each hand outstretched and pinned to the bed by one of Jake's. The bigger tech loomed over him, still grinning. Jensen dropped his weight and Cougar sank into the sheets. He genuinely couldn't go anywhere this time, and his brain melted slightly as he realised that fact. Wriggling and twisting got him nowhere, and pulling against Jake's hands was apparently amusing to the comms man, who laughed and tightened his grip on Cougar's wrists.

"I'm gonna assault a superior, that's what I'm gonna do about it" Jake smiled. His mouth was suddenly on Cougar's and all coherent thoughts in the sniper's head came to a screeching halt. This was not the type of kiss he'd expected from Jensen. It was hard and demanding and unashamedly arousing. A hot tongue slipped into Cougar's mouth and explored, the velvety wetness dancing an invisible tango with Cougar's own.

Jensen's thumbs were tracing little patterns on the insides of Cougar's wrists. The sniper mentally grinned, this boy was a quick learner, not many of his past partners had found that particular erogenous zone.

Cougar struggled to hold back a moan as Jake's tongue licked the roof of his mouth. The hacker's hands slid down his arms and started to wander over his neck and shoulders, fingers probing and stroking gently. For a moment Cougar almost purred like his namesake. Jake smiled against his mouth, "Ahh, you like that, huh? You're just a big pussy-cat aren't you? Should I get you a saucer of milk, kitty?"

Cougar couldn't think of anything intelligent to say, so settled for "Urgh."

Laughing softly again, Jake's mouth slid off of Cougar's and started planting gentle kisses all over his cheeks, then moved down to suck on his neck. Feeling every inch of skin he possessed tingle madly, Cougar arched up and tilted his head, letting Jake have access to as much neck as possible. Apparently Jensen was in no hurry, and leisurely sucked small marks onto the lean tanned throat for quite a while. Cougar realised what he was doing and said, "Hey, stop that. Clay'll see 'em on Monday."

"They'll be fading by then" Jake said dismissively, "besides, I've got to do something to let people know your hot Latino ass is off the market, haven't I? Tattooing 'Property of J. Jensen' across your forehead seems a little extreme, so this'll have to do."

"Ha, and people call me possessive" Cougar snorted.

"You are, querido. I've seen you try to kill people with sheer force of will after they've touched your guns. Possessive is just another name for Cougar, admit it." Cougar sulked and huffed, making Jake smile. The tech's soft mouth crept down and ghosted kisses over the tattoo on Cougar's left pec.

"Umm, Coug? I know its kind of breaking the mood, but have you ever, you know...done this with a guy before?" Jake went crimson and hid his face against Cougar's ribs. Cougar went rigid, wondering what the proper answer would be. The truth? Yes, I have, but I was always thinking of you. Or a white lie? No, I've never wanted any other guy, you're the first. Unable to decide, he went with being sneaky and asked,

"Have you?"

Jensen nodded against Cougar's side. "But only twice. And neither of them were anywhere near as gorgeous as you. But I at least kinda know the ropes, so to speak."

Cougar pulled Jensen up and looked at him seriously, "So do I, mi parlanchin 'my chatterbox'."

Jake looked relieved, "Oh good, that's okay then."

Smirking slightly, Cougar stroked Jake's cheek as he said, "Now there's only one thing left to decide."

Jensen thought for a second, then went wide eyed as he realised what Cougar was talking about. "Umm, I always figured you for a toppy kind of guy."

Shrugging, Cougar replied, "Sometimes, other times bottoming can be fun. I thought the same about you, always a top. Right?"

Jake nodded, "Yeah, well, so far anyway. Never tried anything else. Maybe you could teach me."

Chuckling, Cougar said, " I think I could be persuaded." His smile turned wicked and he continued, "You gonna be a good student? Or will I have to be a strict teacher?"

Laughing out loud, Jensen replied, "I'm always a bad student, so you might have to put me in my place sometimes."

"Hmm, willingly." Cougar muttered as he rubbed his mouth against Jake's neck. "Maybe I can get revenge for you threatening to spank me earlier."

The tech went pink again, "I'm not really a kinky bastard, honest."

Cougar grinned, "That's a shame, I am." Jensen's eyebrows shot up to his hairline and he straightened his glasses unnecessarily.

"Oh, well that's cool. Maybe I am a tiny bit kinky" he mumbled.

"Good," Cougar nuzzled and licked Jake's jugular, making him sigh happily. "Now, you want to top tonight? Or do you want to start your education now?"

"I don't know," replied Jake, playing with Cougar's fingers, "How do you normally decide?"

He raised one of the sniper's hands to his mouth and sucked gently on one finger, rolling the digit around with his tongue. Cougar breathed in sharply and said, "Dios, Jake. You know how to distract somebody, don't you?" Jensen smiled and sucked the finger in and out, letting Cougar know just what he was capable of with that mouth of his. Cougar bit his lip, his already hard dick twitching and demanding more attention. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to remember what he'd been saying, but all the time that tongue was sliding up and down his finger, destroying the few braincells that were still functioning rationally.

"Umm, si, err, deciding who tops, there's no set way to do it." Cougar managed to mumble. "I once played rock, paper, scissors."

Jake's mouth popped off his finger and the tech smirked at the sight of Cougar's flushed cheeks and lust-fogged eyes. "I got an idea," he said, and continued when Cougar just raised an eyebrow, "get up." Looking confused, the Latino slid to his feet and followed Jake to the desk in the corner of the room. Pulling the piece of furniture away from the wall, Jensen squeezed around to the back of it and knelt down, facing Cougar over the flat surface. He rested his elbow on the wood and waggled his fingers, his hand being close to eye level.

Cougar laughed in disbelief. "You want me to arm-wrestle you to decide who tops?"

Jake nodded seriously and replied, "I do indeed, now get your naked ass down on that side of the desk."

Shaking his head and muttering about crazy white boys, Cougar dropped to his knees and made himself comfy before placing his elbow on the desk and grasping Jake's hand firmly.

"Prepare to lose" Jake said softly, with a grin that made Cougar want to punch him, or kiss him, the sniper couldn't quite decide. Instead he said,

"On three, okay?" Jake nodded and Cougar counted down, in Spanish, just to be annoying.

They both tensed at the same second and Cougar wondered whether he might have bitten off more than he could chew. Jensen may be the comms man but damn he was strong. Those goofy t-shirts hid an upper body that rivalled many an Olympic athlete. The sniper kept his face impassive as he felt his hand inching closer to the desktop.

Jake grinned as he saw sweat break out on Cougar's brow, and tightened his grip on the Latino's hand. Brown eyes narrowed and Cougar's bicep flexed as he pushed harder against Jake.

"Give up, hot stuff." Jensen muttered, "No way are you beating me, I went through Basic as the undefeated champion."

"At what, annoying the shit out of people?" Cougar ground out, making Jensen glare at him and say,

"Sarcasm's the lowest form of wit."

"Screw you" the sniper muttered, still trying to prevent his hand getting any closer to the wood.

Jake chuckled and replied cheekily, "Not tonight. Your ass is totally mine and you know it."

Cougar couldn't find the energy to say anything, he was straining every muscle he could, trying to stop the inexorable progress of his hand toward the desk. Desperate times called for desperate measures, so Cougar decided playing dirty was not beneath him. Doing everything he could to keep his face calm, he let his tongue peek out between his lips, then ran it slowly along his bottom lip, almost brushing the dark hair below it. He sank his upper teeth into the same lip and gave a groan of ecstasy, letting his eyes roll back in his head. Tilting his head back, he ran his free hand through his hair and moaned again, once more sliding his tongue along his lip.

Jake's eyes widened and for a split second he forgot what he was meant to be doing, and relaxed his arm. With a small cry of triumph Cougar slammed the tech's hand down on the desk, grinning like he'd just picked the Kentucky Derby winner.

"Oh come on!" Jensen yelled, "That was totally not fair! You, sir, are a sneaky, cheating bastard."

Cougar simply shrugged and smirked.

"Two out of three!" Jensen demanded, elbow back in place. Laughing, Cougar replied,

"Nope, you lost, deal with it."

Jake huffed but clambered to his feet, sliding out from behind the desk and pushing it back against the wall. He then stood by the bed, arms outstretched and said grudgingly, "Fine, you won, unfairly, but you won. You're top, I'm bottom tonight. Now what?"

Cougar's smirk widened as he said, "Now I show you what you've been missing all this time."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Disclaimer as per chapter 1

Right, the boys are in bed and doing...things. Here be nookie, albeit not very explicit nookie. If you want to avoid it, you can skip to the next chapter.

 

Collapsing back onto the sheets, his whole body shaking with post-orgasm aftershocks, Jake had to admit that Cougar had a talent for this kind of thing. The young comms op had never seen so many stars explode behind his tightly shut eyes before. Every nerve-ending he had felt like it had been fried, he was panting and sweating and desperately wondering how soon Cougar would be ready to go again. True, Jake's ass was now rather sore and wondering what was happening to it, but that was a price he was more than willing to pay if it meant he could get Cougar's dick to hit his prostate again.

The sniper was currently lying on his back next to Jake, chest heaving as he too panted. Jensen poked him hopefully, and received a feeble swat in reply. "Go sleep." The sniper slurred, snuggling down into the blankets.

"Cougar..." Jensen whined, and got no reply. "Cougs?" Still nothing. "Cougar!" Only a soft snore answered Jake, who rolled his eyes and tucked a blanket more tightly over himself and the sniper, scooting over to plaster himself to Cougar's side. Maybe a little nap wouldn't be such a bad idea, after all, there was no work tomorrow, so they had plenty of time to play. Before long, the only sound in the apartment was Jake's earth-shattering snores.

They woke a few hours later, to the loud tweets of a bird outside the window, which obviously had a broken alarm clock, as it was still dark. Jake groaned and flung an arm over his eyes as Cougar turned on the light and padded off to the bathroom, muttering about fetching his rifle and ending that damned bird.

Jake's stomach growled, so he heaved himself out of bed and made tracks for the kitchen, grabbed a bowl and a box of cereal, then retreated to bed again. Cougar frowned as he saw the blond propped up against the headboard, blissfully crunching dry Cheerios. "What?" Jake asked innocently, "I'm hungry."

"Crumbs" was all Cougar said, voice husky with sleep. He was not now, nor had he ever been, a morning person. If Jake was going to be cheerful at this ungodly time of day, Cougar may have to shoot him. As if sensing the danger, Jensen put the bowl on his bedside table and made a show of brushing the Cheerio debris off the sheets.

"See? All clean again" the young tech said with an ingratiating smile. He patted the bed and Cougar slid back into the cosy cocoon of warmth. The sniper was just about to doze back off when Jake's voice broke the silence. "So what're we doing today?"

"It's barely even today." Cougar growled, "It's four thirty in the morning. Go back to sleep or I'll strangle you."

"Grouch" Jensen muttered, crunching more cereal. A grin suddenly split his face and he said, "I know what'll cheer you up" in a sing-song voice. His hand crept under the covers, toward Cougar's thigh. The sniper opened one eye, then shrugged and accepted the fact that he was awake and likely to remain so for a while.

Jake grinned even more as Cougar didn't try to escape his wandering hand. After throwing a few more Cheerios into his mouth, his other hand started tracing the lines of the sniper's tattoo.

A wicked smile played around Cougar's mouth as Jake's hand grasped him beneath the sheets. He turned to lie on his side, facing the younger man, and quickly reached out to tweak a nipple. Jake squawked in surprise and wriggled away. The sniper followed him and pounced, licking and biting at Jensen's neck.

Jensen allowed this for a few minutes, as Cougar seemed to be enjoying himself. The gentle bites were rapidly becoming the sniper's trademark, Jensen now sported evidence of them all over his body. There was even one on his left buttock, that had stung slightly, and Cougar's smirk had been more self-satisfied than ever when Jake had sworn and glared at him in surprise. "So you remember me when you look in the mirror" had been the dark man's only comment.

Right now, Jake decided it was about time to show Cougar just what a toppy bastard he himself could be. The hacker knew he'd been making the most embarrassing noises while Cougar had been attempting to melt his mind through world-shattering sex. It was only fair that he got to know what sounds the sniper could make, with Jake buried balls deep in him.

Rolling the surprised sniper over, Jake smothered the inevitable protest with his own mouth, insistently pushing his tongue between Cougar's lips. After the other man stopped fighting and wriggling, Jensen said smugly, "Tables are turned, huh? Lets see how good a bottom you really are."

Cougar grinned, "I wondered how long you'd last before you tried to get toppy. Come on then, show me what you got."

Jake didn't say anything, just reached for the discarded bottle of lube, and slicked up his fingers, smiling wolfishly. Grabbing Cougar's thigh, he pushed the sniper onto his stomach and said, "Prepare to be amazed, and please, don't go biting back any moans, make as much noise as you want, these walls are pretty thick. In my apartment, no-one can hear you scream." Cougar glanced back at Jensen with a 'what are you smoking?' expression, then buried his face in the pillow as Jake's slippery fingers slid between his cheeks.

Jake was surprised to discover that Cougar was the noisiest bastard on the planet when he was in bed. His moans and groans as Jensen's fingers explored inside him were initially absorbed by the pillow, which he refused to get his face out of. Annoyed by the lack of noise, Jake confiscated the pillow and left Cougar with no way of smothering his gasps and grunts.

The more turned on Cougar became, the more shaky his brain to mouth filter was. By the time Jake judged the sniper properly prepped, Cougar was begging and pleading for the tech to just fuck him already. More and more outlandish things fell from Cougar's mouth, promises to make Jake breakfast, to clean his apartment, to lend him the black Stetson to wear on Monday...if only Jake would do something, right the hell now.

Jensen obliged with a will and found out that master of the silent orgasm, Cougar was not. Panting and swearing in more languages than Jensen knew, Cougar sank bonelessly onto his face and didn't move.

Jensen rested back on his heels and looked at the near-comatose sniper. Who knew that quiet, undemonstrative Cougar would be such a noisy little slut in bed? Chuckling softly, Jake rid himself of his condom and flung himself down on the bed, pulling Cougar close and snuggling unashamedly.

"Toppy pendejo" mumbled Cougar.

"Told you your ass was mine" Jake muttered back, "you just didn't believe me."

"Well I believe you now, so let me go back to sleep" said the sniper.

Jake laughed again and pecked a kiss onto Cougars cheek before heading back to dreamland.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Disclaimer as per chapter 1

And so it ends...thanks for reading, if you enjoyed it / hated it, please let me know!

Cougar decided that the less said about they way they spent the rest of Sunday, the better. It would only give Pooch and Roque reason to leer at them and laugh.

Monday morning rolled around with it's usual alarming rapidity. Having their I.D checked at the main gate was interesting considering neither Jensen nor Cougar could walk without limping slightly.

Pooch sat outside Clay's office, nursing a large cup of coffee. He looked exhausted, with dark circles under his eyes. But there was a huge grin on his face that told them he and Jolene hadn't wasted their time together.

"'Sup, guys" he greeted them, raising his cup in salute. "What have you two been up to? And don't bother lying, I know you've finally gotten your shit together. Your sister called Jo and told us everything." He waggled his eyebrows at Jake and smirked.

Cougar resolutely ignored the urge to pull his collar higher to hide the hickeys that were still visible. Jensen rose the occasion and said,

"I bet we didn't get up to anything half as kinky as you and Her Royal Highness."

Pooch flushed and became very interested in his coffee dregs.

Clay's door opened at that moment and their CO stuck his head out, seeing the three of them he said crisply, "Losers, get your asses in here."

Cougar and Jensen exchanged a worried look, wondering what they were in for. They filed in and waited for the shit to hit the fan.

Jake looked at Clay and his eyebrows rose. Somehow, since Saturday night, Clay had managed to acquire a black eye, split lip, bruised cheekbone and four deep gouges on his neck that looked suspiciously like fingernail marks.

Amazed and horrified at his lack of mouth filter, Jensen heard himself saying, "Umm, sir, permission to ask what happened?"

Clay looked distinctively defensive and shifted in his chair. "I don't know what you're talking about, corporal."

Cougar raised an eyebrow but passed no other comment, while Pooch smirked even more. Obviously the girl who'd bought Clay had been as insane as most of the others he'd dated. The colonel would have had a fantastic weekend. Crazy was a turn on for him, none of the team understood why.

Never one to beat around the bush, and anxious to get the attention onto someone else, Clay barked, "Cougar, Jensen, whatever the two of you have been doing since Saturday, I don't care. If you've gotten your asses into gear and finally done something about the raging man-crushes you've been trying to hide, thank fuck for that. I don't care, I couldn't give a shit who you screw. But keep it quiet, I don't think I could save you if somebody reported you. And if it messes with the team dynamic I'll bounce both of you to new teams so fast your eyes will water. Clear?"

"Sir, yes, sir" Jake and Cougar chorused.

"'Kay. Now get out of my sight and do something the Army will approve of." Clay bent his head over his paperwork, very glad that his uniform hid the rest of the evidence of his wild weekend. That blonde had turned out to be a first class nutcase, very fond of scratching and punching. God, it had been a night and day to remember, he wondered whether she was free next weekend too.

As the three men filed out of Clay's office, Jensen whispered to Pooch, "Where's Roque? Am I gonna be able to laugh at him having a black eye from a girl too?"

"Haven't you heard?" Pooch whispered back. "He called Clay an hour ago and asked for special leave, said his aunt's just died, he needs to go sort out funeral stuff."

"He doesn't have any family" Cougar muttered.

Pooch leered again, "I know, but he wasn't going to call and ask for more time to screw that girl now was he? You gotta give him points for sneakiness."

Jensen nodded, looking impressed. "Okay, so it turns out sneaky Roque is sneaky, our CO got his ass handed to him by a girl, you spent the weekend screwing your wife who actually paid for the privilege, and Cougar and I...well yeah, Cougar and I." He grinned and Cougar rolled his eyes affectionately.

"Oh God, please tell me you're not about to start making out in front of me." Pooch looked horrified at the mere thought.

"Would you like us to?" Jensen inquired naughtily.

Pooch just glared at him, then turned tail and headed in the other direction, muttering about something really important he had to do to a Humvee.

"What's up with him?" Jake asked innocently. Cougar just shook his head and said,

"I'm going to the range, see you later."

Jake couldn't resist adding "Alligator."

Grinning, Cougar strode away. Jensen lingered where he was for a second, thinking over what had happened during the last two days. He'd somehow been outed by his own sister and gained a...what should he call Cougar, boyfriend? The word made him go warm and gooey inside, and he decided he'd keep using it, as long as Cougar didn't object.

His sore muscles twinged, and the bite mark on his ass was aching a little. Hmm, Cougar definitely deserved a little payback for that. Maybe Jake would drag him to the nearest tattoo place and make him get 'Property of ' done on his ass. That would be fair. And rather hot too, if Jake was honest with himself.

Jensen jumped as a stern-looking major glared at him and said loudly, "Are you planning on standing there admiring the scenery all day, corporal?"

"No, sir, definitely not." Jake replied in his best, 'I am an efficient NCO – believe me, please' voice.

"Well then move" barked the major, and Jake moved, swiftly.

As he walked, Jensen couldn't stop the grin from breaking out on his face. Finally, after all these years of pining after Cougar, they were actually together. He almost skipped, but thought of the looks he'd get and throttled down the urge. He settled for singing 'Oh What a Beautiful Morning' in his head. He was in the midst of good times, and he planned to enjoy every last second.

Jess stood in her kitchen, hands covered in flour as she rolled out her pastry on the worktop. There was a sudden knock at the front door, and she swore, quickly wiping her hands on her jeans.

Managing to open the door without getting too much flour on it, Jess was surprised to see a man holding a gigantic bouquet of flowers, mostly roses by the look of it. He smiled and asked her to sign for them, then wished her a good day as he left.

The bouquet was too big to see around and she crashed into the doorjamb as she tried to get back into the kitchen. Setting it down on the table, she noticed a card stuck on a little plastic stick, which sat between the flower stems. Opening it, she smiled and laughed. It read, 'To our very own Fairy Godmother, thank you for the push, we needed it! Love and hugs forever, Jake and Carlos'.

Years later, Jake was idly flicking through one of Jess' scrapbooks. He pulled two pages apart and caught a dried rose and a small card just before they hit the floor. He read the card and smiled gently, then motioned to Cougar to come read it too. The Latino did so, and his eyes went suddenly warm, his hand squeezing Jake's shoulder.

"Thank God for interfering big sisters" Jake muttered, quietly, so Jess wouldn't feel the need to hit him.

"Amen" added Cougar. Jake grinned, quiet one or not, Cougs did love to get the last word. Just for once, the blond would allow him to keep his small victory.


End file.
